The image that I see
The image that others see
The close up!
For Paige, Lenna and anyone else who is interested!!!
I’ve always wanted a tattoo. I have a bit of a different view when it comes to this form of "art". I waited until I was in my 30’s to have something so permanent and wanted to make sure it was an image that I would love and want, not something that I came home after the bar with, looked in the mirror and went “Oh shit, what have I done?” I’ve had those oh shit moments, it’s just that most of the time it wasn’t something as permanent as a tattoo!!!
This isn't my first tatoo, but is the most prominent one. The first tat came in celebration of my 35th birthday. It is an ancient symbol that depicts the moon phases. It represents emotions, feminine energies, water and my three children. I have two small yellow stars just above the moon symbol to represent Chad and myself.
The tat of the dolphin was a celebration of my Accreditation as a Journey Practitioner. It is an intensive training in self-discovery, cellular healing, and really getting to the core of issues so that you can really live the life you want. After one goes through the training or experiences the powerful sessions there’s a lot of realizations. It becomes hard to hide behind walls, descriptions, labels, and games and old patterns that have kept us locked in place. We go through the training to become a facilitator, to assist others but really we work on ourselves first. I knew that I wanted to do something to commemorate the accomplishment. After the intense training we are required to do 45 case studies with documentation and follow up. I completed my training and case studies in less than a year. Throughout that time, several images kept coming to me. The first was a dolphin. I’ve always loved them and whenever I am around a living one, I seem to be transported into another realm, one of sheer peace. It’s hard to describe because it is so not what I experience in my daily vibrations! I was also listening to a recording of dolphin sounds (Jon Goldman’s Dolphin Dreams CD) when I had my first breakthrough, one that really opened those inner doors of my being!)
In the Journey we work with wonderfully relaxing music. I absolutely fell in love with the voice of Deva Premal. She has an amazing collection of songs, chants from Sanskrit. My favorite was Om Shanti. Om is the ancient primordial sound and the symbol includes the levels for physical, mental, spiritual and enlightenment, which is in integration of everything. Shanti means peace.
The realization that has emerged with me is that everything I need to be happy, free, confident and fulfilled is already within my being, everything. Everything I seek on the outside is simply a reflection. When I shared this with my friend Todd (best damn tattoo artist ever!) he showed me an image that he drew a number of years ago, which is the image that you see on my foot. Notice the Dolphin is jumping INTO my own skin, into my inner paradise (yes, my version of paradise is a warm sunny island, sparkling blue water, waves, beaches and palm trees, a.k.a heaven!!!)
Interestingly, he originally drew the image for my friend Alicia, who at the time, happened to be Parker’s 1st teacher!
The tattoo was done in two settings. The first was the dolphin and water scene. The second was the Om and Shanti. Though the foot is supposed to be painful, this one didn’t hurt all that badly and healed very, very quickly. The moon tattoo was deeply painful. IT is on the inside of my left ankle. We used purple ink and I had a reaction to it that caused a nasty infection. It took a long, long time for it to heal. I will eventually change colors and add to it someday but even after two years, it is still quite sensitive! Compared to the ankle tat, the foot was a walk in the part (no pun intended, but on reread and edit, it works!)
I knew that I wanted it to be on my foot because when I am stressed, angry, etc. I noticed I have a tendency to look down and I am usually holding my breath~ now, as soon as I look down, I breathe, relax and go within to my inner paradise.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t look at it and love it. I have no regrets, despite the reaction/upset that it caused in my marriage. Chad isn’t wired this way at all. He’s not a fan, nor will he be and that is another part of the realization and freedom that I have experienced. Though I don’t purposely wish to make anyone angry, displeased, mad or upset, I am also no longer willing to compromise my truth and not do something, just because it will upset someone else. And I know that his love for me goes deeper than the ink in my skin………….
Tattoos are not for everyone and everyone seems to have an opinion! Chad didn’t think it was a very good example for our children and in some ways he may be right. I wouldn’t want my high school child to get one that he or she wouldn’t love later in life, or an image that they would “grow out of”. I explained this to my three kids after I got the first one. I wanted them to know my reasons and why I did what I did. I never told them they could or could not get a tattoo, I just requested that if they decided they wanted one, to come to me and I would help them choose an image that they would want to have………forever. When I mentioned the word forever, Parker totally backed off! We’ll see who is the first one to get one?
So there’s the tattoo story for anyone who wondered, anyone who might care and anyone who was curious or bored enough to read this!