Friday, December 28, 2012

Patina

I've had this quilt since the first year we moved into this house (circa 2001). I loved the brilliant red and white and thought it would make the perfect winter covering for the bed. I enjoyed it so much I left it on for part of the summer. When I went to remove it one day I detected a discernable fade had occurred. It made me sad. I folded it up and put it away in the bottom of the closet. That’s been 11 years ago. Much has changed. I have changed. I’m far less a perfectionist. I now prefer that most of the items I seek, purchase or house have a “used and worn” look, with the exception of my car, computer and phone. Having three children under this room has likely paved the way for this to happen; try as I might, not much stays in good condition. Our windows, on any given day, have circles where the nerf darts hit their mark. The floors are a mix of dust and paw prints. The ceiling has various smudges due to children bouncing on the bed or jumping off the counter to show me how tall they are. I still prefer order, organization and tidiness though those standards slip often. I’m happy when I can see the color of the counter and the kitchen desk is clear. Oh it’ll fill up again, but that is always the goal, to have the countertops cleared off. November and December went so fast this year. Instead of the usual abundance of Christmas d├ęcor, I only drug out the tree ornaments and ribbon. The stocking were hung only a few days before the 24th. I also put two velvet pillows, one read and one green on the bed. And for some reason, still unbeknownst to me, I drug out the red and white quilt. It made me smile to see it, to notice the wear and the fade. Instead of feeling sad, I felt nostalgic. The white had faded to a cream color and the reds were now various shades. My “bed jumper” exclaimed, “Wow! Mom! You got a new blanket” and commenced to jump and bounce. “Not new,” said I. “It’s been here awhile.” She’d never seen it. I’d forgotten about it completely. Unlike the tree and decorations that were tucked back into trunks the day after Christmas, the quilt gets to stay. It’ll stay on through February and then retire in March. I see myself in this quilt. I look back and see how far I’ve come. My memories are most likely faded as well, perhaps not as sharp as they were a few years back, only picking up bits and pieces. Sometimes I can’t even remember what I did last month, let alone 5 years ago. I have come to accept the flaws in my own life's quilt, the scars, the tears, the many imperfections. These aspects are what give my life the "patina". I’m more comfortable with who I am and where I’m headed. I have a better idea of what I’m about, though I don’t feel that I have even hit my stride yet. I'm certainly "softer" than I used to be, and like this quilt I have shiny spots and those that are faded. Spending time in the sun does that to us and yet that type of light is what I crave! So here's to the well-worn look, faded and authentic, honoring one's patina and learning to shine though. Finding appreciation in people, situations and items that are less than perfect but oh so loved. Thanks for the insight 2012, it will be put to good use!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Feathers n Such

One of my all-time favorite decorating objects are feathers. I love them! Two good friends, Joe and Justin, keep me in steady supply. I have all kinds of craft ideas to try out but mostly I just like to scatter them about. I've had these in a glass cylinder on the coffee table but I just added blue and silver orbs so the feathers found a new home.

I didn't decorate much this year. I barely got the stockings up. I think the theme of simplicity may be settling in. I have some ideas around this. More soon. Steaks are on and supper is ready!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Pausing At Solstice

Hi Friends,

I've gotten quite a number of blop posts stored in the old computer that have never made it to the posting page. I've spent the better part of the past few months keeping up with my family. The boys are both into basketball and their schedules no longer coordinate as nicely as they once did. Pake is a student manager and travels with the high school team. Parker plays with the Curtis team since there aren't enough boys from Maywood to make a team.

I'm going burning through the house to bring some type of order. It is a known fact that I think and feel better when my "nest" is neat. It is an ingrained trait and try as I may to ignore the chaos, I simply cannot. I'll "power clean" the upstairs and downstairs today and then retreat to my very full craftroom to put the finishing touches on packages. We've got a few more gifts to secure and then we'll begin the holiday preparations.

I do love this time of year though it takes some focus to really get me into the Christmas mood. I've felt like our lives are moving at mock speed and to me, this is not enjoyable. Not at all. I prefer a slower, quiet rhythm and that is not what my days have felt like. I like to savor moments within the season and really soak up the vibrations of this time of year. I'll be doing that this evening and tomorrow. Just soaking and basking in the goodness that is here.

Winter solstice is one of my favorite wheels of the year. I love them all but there's something magical about this time. I've always felt that way though I am a sworn lover of summer, sun and water. This is my one deviation. I'll light a simple candle, sit by the sparkling tree and tune in to the rhythms present. There is depth, stillness and presence here, all are elements I am thirsty for right now.

I'll be dreaming, creating and planning a new path for the coming year. My time  in the fire station has been enlightening, to say the least! I've seen things from an entirely different perspective and I'll be using that insight in the action plan I'll write up and follow in 2013. I can feel my "wings" expanding and my gypsy vibrations being activated. I'll be shaking out the backpack and prepare it as my second home. I've completed my time in the homey two earth location and now...it's time to move, explore, discover and make tracks.  I'm feeling a deep calling to spend more time with writing and art, avenues I've been missing. Good, good things on the horizon and now, time to go deep, ground and anchor so that when the wind is right.....I'll be ready to fly.