Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sensing Home


Today was the 2nd day of 2nd grade and a milestone as I finally DID NOT hit the slump around 2 pm that has plagued me for the last week (even before I started teaching again). I've been excessively tired of late and part of it may be due to the change in my diet and now the regular meal times. I don't remember ever eating on time for the past, oh say, 11 years! I often put off eating or eat after my family does or clean up one more thing or do one more errand before I sat down to have my meal. It feels almost like I am becoming a............clock watcher! gasp! Ok, its me. I don't think any of us really belive that will happen for the spirit that lives in this body but I am putting up a gallant effort.

I did notice the classroom feels a lot more like home than I thought it would and the kids are to be given credit. They've all opened their little hearts and welcomed me in, so much that I almost feel like I am a 5'8" second grader! They are all so sharp and so excited to learn. I feel very blessed to have this opportunity. Being with children who naturally have positive, innocent perspectives is, I must say, a breath of fresh air. I don't feel I've become cynical or negative, its just easy to realize that we can get into a habit of fear and worry and all the other things that come with being an adult. Personally, I've forgotten how fun it is to do science experiments or write silly stories just for the sake of a really good giggle. (Let me tell you, the BEST gigglers in the world, have to be in second grade!) It is easy to loose our inner child in the rush of each day, working sometimes just to keep our heads above water. And after a while, it's just not any fun. I am learning a lot in a short time and making each day count. I appear to be the teacher but I think we all know (short ones included!) that this is just one big learning experince for ALL of us. Already I am remembering what it is about being a child that I miss; the magic of reading, the wonder of words, the unknown, fantastic experinces that are just waiting for me to find and best of all, friends. The joy of human connection is one of the most precious and important gifts that any day offers. A smile, a hug, a handshake, a high-five are all excellent ways to boost someone else's day, and your day to boot. Suffice to say, I feel at home in the classroom again.

Tonight I posted a picture of my favorite new gadget. My best friend, Ann, gifted me a Scentsy burner for Christmas. The pottery piece is lovely in and of itself, though what really made my heart swell was how good it feels to walk in and smell the delicious aroma of "Baked Apple Pie". I have been so busy during the day and at nights getting ready for the next day that I really haven't done a lot of home cookin'. Eventhough we were super busy again tonight, home to do chores, walk dogs, grab a quick bite before the ball game, as soon as I smelled the wonderful "home smell", my body/being shifted into a lower gear, mmmmmmmmmmm! That hit the spot and even better...........it was calorie free!

As I wind down tonight, I realize that I really have come home, not just in the classroom or here in my personal sanctuary. I feel like I just may be hitting my stride on the inside too. That's a brave thing to say, even as I write it, I can feel just a tad bit of hesitation. Maybe I am growing up enough to say that I finally feel at home being me?! I like who I am becoming and I am certainly enjoying the journey more and more. I still have questions about where this ol life is headed and what I am going to be doing three months from now! But that can wait, can't it? I have some really cool kids to hang out with and keep me entertained until March!

I turn in tonight feel fully blessed.
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