During a recent visit with my SoulStorm sisters in the Pacific North West, I heard myself describing my usual pattern of resistance, resistance, resistance…… fear-facing then FINALLY DOING whatever it is I’ve avoided. This is a long standing pattern, a game that I’ve perfected and it truly is entertaining because usually what I am avoiding is something that ends up being pretty darned cool. Often I amaze myself in the end. I may or may not ever return to the “feat” but the simple fact of “knowing” that I did something that I didn’t think I could is confidence inspiring. (It sometimes doesn’t take much…..!)
I shared with my sisters that I was gifted my Grandma Ruth’s sewing machine, which is super cool, but I don’t sew! It’s a beautiful piece because it was hers; I know she spend numerous hours crafting and creating. She made me the coolest Cabbage Patch-ish Kid, complete with her own clothes. I lovingly named the doll Patience Ranae (that probably says something right there!) Having the machine in my craft room was a wonderful connection to my grandmother, though I never planned on using it.
Then, one Halloween, a certainl little girl insisted on being Jessie The Cowgirl. Since she’s super tiny, no costumes fit her. I have the ability to come up with creative visions and solutions, the challenge is completing the details and steps to get to that vision. I tend to take short cuts, as many as I can get away with! I could see the “perfect” costume in my mind. I then went and found milk cow material, old pants, a brother’s white shirt, felt, fabric paint and glue. It all worked really well until the makeshift chaps fell off the pants. Whoops! They were going to need stitches. Real stiches. And there sat the sewing machine. I swear it was grinning. I avoid situations that pose much of a challenge until I can’t avoid them anymore. This was no different. I sat down and under my mother-in-law’s tutoring I was able to whip out one cool costume! That was two years ago and I haven’t turned the machine on, but I know if I needed and/or wanted to, I could do it. At this time, I don’t have the drive or desire. Maybe it will come?!
This realization and pattern emerged when my sisters and I sat down to create dream catchers. Our gifted, gorgeous teacher, Rachael Rice, generously shared her support, guidance, suggestions and supplies and delicately lead her novices in the art of weaving a dream catcher. To be honest, I was pretty content on the bench, chatting with friends about Nine Star Ki and Feng Shui. Oh sure, I watched, in wonder and awe, as fellow sisters spun and circled their crafty goodness. I don’t remember who vocalized the invitation (thank you to whoever said, “Your turn Robyn, get down here!). Having shared the sewing machine story and recognizing that I’d put this off for as long as I could, it was time to jump in. I’d watched a video on making a dream catcher about a year ago and though it looked super cool, I avoided it. I prefer to learn in person due to my non-dominant hand (and brain?!?!) This made knitting, guitar and violin playing and anything with direction and motion a true challenge. I hear the words, I can watch videos, I can read the words, but something gets all combobbulated in my brain and what comes out…….is a gigantic mess! I’ll admit it’s easier to find an artist on etsy.com who has honed her skills, I’m happy to pay her!
What ensued is the treasured piece shown above, my very own dream catcher. It means a great deal to me, on so many levels. It represents the connection and synergy of amazing, powerful, gifted, talented, generous, FUN, beaming, light-filled women who support and inspire me. It also symbolizes my willingness to stop, observe and shift habits, beliefs and patterns that no longer support me. It is a visual reminder that when it is time to stop and try something new, I know I’ll be just fine. Powerful dreams were woven in this piece, the fact that it was hand crafted amplifies this. I understand the magic of creation and why being an artist is an honor. In old times, when we were less inundated with careers, technology, and chore lists miles long, there was time for developing our special, unique talents. When the harvest was complete, when the tribe’s welfare was ensured, beings had time to specialize. Items weren’t bought with cash they were traded for, ensuring value, necessity, and aesthetic appreciation. It’s been easy for me to become a mass consumer because my time, talents and energies were not invested in the creation of the goods I sought. I certainly have a deeper appreciation of what I am bringing into my space as well as a deeper level of reverence for artistic hands.
Much goodness is flowing in with the simple observation of my patterns and the recognition of opportunities that are presenting themselves to me. Simply saying “YES” to what’s here, taking that teeny, tiny step. Moving forward an inch at a time and learning oh so much in the process. It’s almost silly when I think of what pressure I was putting on myself by setting out to take leaps and bounds. I’m good with accelerated change but I’m better with the conscious, creative, organic process of enjoying the actual journal. It’s starting to make sense.
What are you saying “YES” to right now? What are you trying, experimenting or dipping a toe into? I’d love to hear and share your journey!