They survived the winter!

We are in the midst of planting fruit and nut trees for our future orchard.

While Chad is mowing I crept over to assess how the berry bushes are doing. Seven out of eight made it! They won't bear fruit this summer but I sure hope by 2011 we will be feasting on delicious black berries and raspberries. These are two of my most favorite treats. Due to the expense, they are rare treats.

Two years ago I began reading books on sustainable living and homesteading. These subjects align deeply with my path and interests. I don't buy into the fear mentality of a crashing economy. I see the "challenges" as a direct invitation to do more with our creativity and use our land and resources wisely.

For us this means planting a garden, growing and preserving as much of our own food as we can, planting an orchard, raising chickens, running cattle, doing improvement projects ourselves and a slew of other practices that I didn't figure I'd do five short years ago.

What I most appreciate is that what we are doing, we do as a family. We aren't in the house, watching tv or playing video games, we aren't in town buying things we don't need. We are creating, learning and growing.....together and this is what makes my heart really happy!

One of the things I hope for is that my children will grow up with strong values and usable skills. I want them to stay close to their roots and to this place! This is the community I want to build. I will understand if they choose to travel and explore (they'll come by this naturally). When they are ready to anchor down, this place will be ready.

I know things change and nothing is set in stone. This is simply the shape of my "hope" right now.

Why knit now?

I've recently begun the next knitting project, another felted bag. This picture doesn't do justice to the brilliant turquoise yarn! It reminds of the crystal waters of Hawaii, though I'm actually going for a "southwestern" feel with this bag.

So why in the world, after posting how crazy-busy this month is, would I take on such a project? In short, it grounds me. This is one of my favorite ways to come to "present moment". I find stillness within while my fingerd fly. My mind wanders for a bit but the rhythm of the weave brings me back, full circle. My thoughts relax and so does my body. I breathe, I knit.

With so many things to knock off my to-do list, I am finding the need to cre8te enjoyable time-outs more frequently. This is one thing that is easy to stop and start, unlike other projects (laundry!) that aren't so enjoyable to complete once they are started.

I also didn't want to forget what I learned this winter. I did stop in to Vickie's shop for a refresher! It came back--thank you muscle memory!

I also have the intention of working on Christmas gifts this summer. December is a full month to, I figure the more I prepare for it now, the more time I will have to relax and enjoy it! The majority of gifts I give this year will feature home crafted products. I have a new plan for Holiday 2010, thanks to reading "The Story of Stuff" by Annie Leonard. In addition to paring down the "stuff" in our home, we'll also be paring down our gift list. The idea is to focus on the quality of our experience together. On this, we all agree!

So now, back to the to-do list. Chad just called, the pick-up died on the way up the hill. He's stranded with a load of cattle on board. As I posted on facebook yesterday, It is a good thing I'm so adaptable!

Enjoy the day!

Wisdom Wednesday: Listen to your head, follow your heart

There are a lot of things that I don't know. That is why I am here. Everyday is a puzzle, a new mystery to experience. I used to want to run ahead and see what was coming down the road but I don't anymore. I am content to be right where I am at. I haven't always felt this way, maybe it comes with age, experience or a few rough knocks.

May is a busy month for us. Nearly every month is becoming that way and will keep it up if I don't put my foot down. I am doing something this summer that I have never done before.............staying home. I am putting the anchors down and proclaiming a slower pace. I have to admit I am a bit reluctant to do this. My gypsy bones have a hard time staying in one place. I am a wanderer, an adventure seeker, an eternal explorer. I dream of loading up my backpack, camera, dog and gear and heading out into the world. I love my family more than anything. I adore my friends beyond belief. I appreciate the home we've created here. Someday though, I won't be able to control this urge, I will have to follow this yearning and see where it takes me. Right now though, dharma keeps me right here. I know my place, for the time being, is to stay on this place.

Usually I am preparing to hit the road with Chad and the kids, going to rodeos, meeting up with good friends and enjoying the fun summer vibrations. I'm road weary though. I've done this for 16 years. Its time for change! In the next couple of years, my boys will likely be going to more rodeos. More than likely I will be there, camera in hand, watching and cheering them on. I've decided to consciously slow things down a bit. I want to enjoy as much time at home as I can, working in the garden, watching my chickens and...........milking goats. I know, to some of you readers, this may sound absolutely ridiculous. Believe me, I've caught a lot of crap about this! And the only thing I can say is I have to follow my heart. There is something in me that wants this experince and is ready for it. I realize the committment, I realize that I will not be traveling, I realize that this will anchor me down. BIG TIME and I'm okay with that.

Maybe some of you are right, maybe I won't be able to handle being in one place ALL summer. Maybe this experience won't last very long. Maybe it isn't the right time or milking goats isn't suited to my personality...........but what if it IS? What if I love it? What if you run out of cheese or milk and you need to borrow some of mine?

I'm not out to prove anything. I am simply here for the experience, good, bad or otherwise. In the past, I would only agreed to an experince if I knew ahead of time that it was going to turn positively. I now see ALL experiences being positive, even ones that may be perceived as being uncomfortable or otherwise. It is easy to limit the totality of our experiences by choosing only the "safe" route. Sometimes the strange, daring and "wrong" choices end up being liberating. This is where it pays to listen to our heart rather than our head, though we often don't know it until a later time. Trust is essential, trust in yourself is a MUST. If you don't know what your motives are or why you are doing what you are doing, best not to try. But if you do, if you have the courage to do that which is crazy, wild, new, daring, different, quirky, unconventional, you will likely find a new vigor, a new awarness that floods your cells. If what you've been doing hasn't paid off, why not try something else? What's the worst that can happen?! YES, go THERE! You may find, like I did that things are often not as bas as what our minds want us to believe. Investigate, gather the details, tune into your heart and then..............take the LEAP!

How many times do we stop ourselves before we've even tried something different, to know if we like it? How many times do we let fear and anxiety guide our decisions? I see so many people feeling trapped and "stuck". Life doesn't have to be that way. Things are not as black and white as they seem. And so what if we decide to do something and it doesn't work? Are we out? Heck no! We learn just as much from experinces that don't fly as the ones that do! Let the experince, not the perception of the outcome be enough. Worrying about all the variables only distracts our attention and foucs.

Live. Be. Enjoy. You don't have to have a reason. If you want to learn something new, sign up for the class. If you fail miserably, throw a party and join the club. (I may have a violin for sale if I don't get these fingers to flex more!) Our greatness is seldom measured in the amount of times we've succeeded or failed, it is through each experince and the learning that we acquire that makes us truly amazing.

I have some doubts about where I'm headed with my little farm. I'm taking big gulps of air when it comes to the direction of my career and where I could be going with my work. Its really too early to tell. I'm not there yet. I might not be there for a while, or............ something amazing could happend tomorrow and I could be on a plane headed to Hawaii. And you now what..........none of it really matters in THIS moment. I am right where I need to be. I do listen to my head continually and I follow my heart instead. I listened to and followed logic for 35 years. It served me well and kept me safe, I have no regrets. In the last two years though, things have changed. I'm ready to see what is beyond logic and linear! I appreciate having a comfort zone but it no longer confines me.

For now, I'm content to experience the regularity of having a dairy goat here. I've always wanted to try it. If for some reason, out of the blue, my career intentions suddenly take off and I'm invited to go adventure in exotic places, I'm just sure I'll be able to take my family friends, goats, and dogs along! The more the merrier. Oh! Won't they have fun riding in my gypsy wagon???!!!

Speedy Recovery (not what you think)

I’ve always been pretty conservative when it comes to spending money. This is due in part to my upbringing and wise guidance of my parents as well as my desire to reduce waste and keep my home free of clutter.


Although I never felt that I had enough money, I realize now I’ve always had enough, it was a matter of what and how I spent it. When I was working full time, I rarely had a savings account and used up every penny that came in. That was before I had a car payment, school loan and cell phone. My income comes via a variety of sources and I am now working to build a savings account. I have to be careful because my income fluctuates each month. My earnings are dependent on others who like what I do and request my services. I have no “boss” and no set hours which is very nice but unlike traditional employment, where one receives compensation on a predictable schedule, I often don’t know where my next paycheck is going to come from! This is both scary and exhilarating. I’ve learned to trust that all the good that I do is being repaid in every form. Sometimes this is monetary rewards, sometimes it comes in through trade. I’ve lived this way for 5 years and have learned so much about “surviving and thriving” away from traditional (predictable) employment. Maybe I should write a book on it?!?

One of the concepts that I’ve embraced is finding new ways to use what I already have or cre8tively repair what I would’ve replaced. This covers everything from old socks being converted to cleaning rags, kids jeans being made into cutoffs, leftover buffets, t-shirts being made into shopping bags. My latest venture is one worth sharing though. Perhaps you’ll be inspired to “spruce up” something you already have and fall in love with it all over again (yes, husbands/wives and marriages included!)

I’ve had my eye on new barstools for a while now. I knew we’d need to buy two for downstairs. Nothing we had was tall enough for the very high counters that we’d installed. And believe me I tried everything………even setting up little blocks under old chairs. Not safe!) I waited until Shopko had a sale. It took a year to get what I wanted but I do like them and they were a good buy for $30 each. Instead of going “hog wild” and buying two extra I decided we could keep using the ones upstairs. They actually fit really well with the island but after 9 years of food, chocolate milk, and various other “oops Mom, missed my mouth episodes they were looking quite gross. The material had frayed and the stains were taking over.

I found and purchased faux leather, a close shade of the sundried tomato wall in the dining room. For around $10 I scored enough material to cover both chairs and got four pieces of foam.

Last weekend was the perfect time to call in my expert handy man. He didn’t have enough time to lay tile in the downstairs bathroom but he did have enough to recover the barstools. Oh yes, I should mention that my job around here is gathering and clarifying the cre8tive ideas. My talents end with any kind of measuring or precision requirements (I hate the details!) Chad however is fabulous in this department. If I want it perfect, I ask him for help. I don’t hang any pictures or shelves. Nope, not my department!

While he began the recovering process, I applied my talents to lunch preparation. By the time I was done whipping up tasty tacos, he was done with the chairs. They look fabulous too! I almost didn’t want the kids to sit on them, knowing of coarse, what is to come. I sort of feel like I am sending that beautiful read faux leather to its death. That is why I am taking pictures, to remind us how good it started out looking!

I figure when these covers are trashed, we can pull it off and apply another layer. I have two more old stools that I am going to do the same thing with. I mainly use them when I plop one of the boys on to trim their hair. We’ll throw a towel on the top and call it good.

I finally had the chance to sit on one this morning and I must say it is quite comfy! They seem to be holding up pretty well or perhaps it is the continual reminder of “Scoot closer to the table, lean over………….hit YOUR MOUTH!” Who knows?!

This was one of the “prettiest” and speediest recovery processes I’ve experienced. Too bad things like colds/flu, bad backs, and sour moods and the economy weren’t as easy and enjoyable to recover from!

Wisdom Wednesday: We are not islands!

Right now seems like a very busy time. The fire energies are going out and the very powerful eight earth energies are starting to fill in the open spaces. In the Nine Star Ki philosophy, eight earth is here for the month and for the year. What this means is that we have the potential for powerful, dynamic changes. These changes are ones that are offered to help raise our awarness on all levels, both individually and collectively. Personally we are offered opportunites to shift out of, release and heal old patterns. Transformation is here, both inner and outer support is available if we are ready to receive it. We cannot do it alone. We weren't meant to.

I sometimes have the false mindset that if something needs done, it is going to be up to me to get it taken care of. In the past I felt sorry for myself and made situations even more miserable by focusing on the appearance of isolation. I would think that "it was all up to me" and then I would start feeling resentful. Old patterns.

Now I realize that it seldom had anything to do with those on the outside. The answer was within, waiting for me to consciously open up and ALLOW others to support me. It was never about others seeing me in pain and swooping down to rescue me, though that is what I had in mind for years. Recognizing and honoring my feelings was the first step. The second was inviting and asking for assistance. This was the hardest because when we ask for help, we have to ackwledge that we aren't SUPERGIRL or SUPERBOY! The old mindset and ego usually take leave.

What the mind doesn't know is that there are usually lots of people ready to assist. They want to contribute. When we open and allow, we invite others to share their time, talents and traits with us. Giving and receivng is a two way street on the same highway. 

My husband is not a fan of chickens or goats. However, he has been extremely supportive. The majority of the work is mine and I am enjoying it. If it gets to be something else, it will go! For now there is great learning and wonderful expeirnces so its here. The chicks have grown so fast that they need a new space. We don't have the other permanent building ready yet. I knew that moving the chickens to a larger tank was necessary, yet I lacked the muscles and ability of "how to build a new shelter".  I shared this with Chad and invited his ideas. No pressure or hurry. I continued to clean out the small pen several times a day and just did those micromovements we talked about in class the other night.

Several ideas surfaced. Good ones and yet time seemed to be the barrier. I have more than a full schedule this week so I really wasn't sure how things would come into alignment. I just kept on movning, doing what needed to be done. Last night I came home to a magnificient set up. A large tank, a large screen with chicken wire and tarps and a heat lamp! (The man is brilliant!) I was golfing. He was working on my our project!

I had invited him to assist, acknowledging that I was going to need some help. I didn't force, push, control or direct. I also didn't worry. I also didn't feel guilty (which is huge, especially since I was having fun and he was at home working!). I did FULLY acknowledge and appreciate this beautiful act of support and kindness. As I sat with this today, I realized that he's always been supportive and willing to assist. That hasn't changed. What changes is that I am now allowing him to share with me. This may sound strange, as I've lived with the man for years but much of that time I was operating on an old mindset. It was not supportive but it was the only one there for a long time.

I feel that much of our society is like this. We are more than willing to help if we just knew where to best direct our efforts. Its important to ask, it is important to share and to communicate what our needs are. In the past, I misinterpreted the message that being strong and independent meant I had to do it (ALL) myself. That's not true (AT ALL). We may appear as individual islands floating along in the sea of life though that isn't quite the truth. We are all IN the same sea, we are all IN this life together; the more we connect, communicate and share the more land we link and the more ground we cover. Its time to do that now.

We are all diverse and unique and we are all connected through our needs, strengths and weakness. If you need help today, ask for it! You may be giving someone a fabulous opportunity to share their time, talents, love, and attention with you. If someone asks you for help, share freely. We are all in this together, we might as well have fun and enjoy the human connection. We aren't islands, we are notes dancing along to Love's amazing, universal tune.

Another Hunter Joins the Ranks!

Today was one of those days where I just want to push the slow-motion button and savor every minute.

I slept in and was really late hitting the shower. I made a quick rebound though and made a vow to stab the to-do list right in the heart.

We checked on our trees after church assessing what to plant next. Checked on baby calf #2 and then I tackled chicken chores. The birds are big and they need space-----the tin hasn't arrived yet so we will build a larger temp home for them. I'm nervous because a couple are getting pretty pecked on.

Chad and Pake were gone all afternoon for hunter's safety class. Chad has t have this to go Elk hunting this fall and Pake was old enough to take it so they went together. We were all a little nervous, 50 questions seems like a lot. Pake loves to hunt and is interested in all aspects of firearms so this helps. It wasn't drudgery!

Spark, Pooh, dogs and Mama spent a glorious hour outside before resuming the reorganization efforts. I am continually amazed at how quickly this place can turn into a disaster zone. Holy cow, didn't I just do this two weeks ago? Perhaps I'm living in a time warp because I just did all the cleaning and pick-up all over again!

Night came way too soon! I would love to have had a leisurely evening but it was not!

We did manage to have a campfire and grill steaks. We wanted t celebrate Pake and Chad's accomplishments! Pake was really excited, as was his family. He comes from a long line of hunters and I'm sure they are delighted to have him joining their ranks! Personally I feel he learned a lot and this makes it a little easier on me to let him go hunting. I've grown up around the sport but I'm still petrified when a shot off......maybe its a mom thing?

I have a busy week ahead and I still have laundry to fold before I hit the hay. I will be subbing tomorrow and teaching at MPCC tomorrow night. The rest of the week is just as full. It is a good thing I only do what I love otherwise I would dread the week ahead of me.

So without further ado, here's this weekend's Dynamic Details:

*Pake passing his Hinter's Safety Test
*Listening to Pryce play with her cows (she has a great dialogue!)
*Parker's support for his brother
*Seeing the floor in my office again
*A gorgeous day with sunshine and mysterious clouds
*feeling joyful for ALL the blessings I have and all that are coming to me
*my beloved friends safe return home to NE

These Guys Have Had It Easy!

I took a few shots of our horses the other night when the kids and I went to hike out and check on the baby calf. By this time last year, we'd already had the horses in shape and were in the arean every night. This spring they've been saddled twice. Sad. I love riding, especially this time of year before it gets too hot. I admit I have a fair-weather cowgirl, I most enjoy riding when it is WARM and there is a slight breeze. Planting a garden, golfing and sitting by a campfire are included in the fair-weather realm. The fact is, I detest being cold. I only live in this state year round because my family is here and we are rooted down. This doesn't mean that I like Nebraska weather or wind. I enjoy the experince of having four seasons and the variety that it brings, however my idea is around 70-80 degrees and consistent WARMTH.

Last night, because I am no quitter, I did attemp a camp fire. I got all the effects of burn eyes, partially done brats and hair that smelled like smoke. After supper was cleaned up and things sort of back in order, I did attempt to sit outside and finally, with frozen fingers, I gave up and went in. I am a weiner........what can I say?

There is nothing more beautiful than a horseback ride in the canyons, just as the sun is setting but on a windy, cold day I enjoy looking out the window watching my horses graze just as much~I realize this doen't qualify me as a "tough cowgirl" but I am one that speaks my truth. It just aint fun if its cold!

So for the time being, with the wind blowing and what feels like cold temps to me, I am happy to occupy myself with tasks and t0-dos inside, there are plenty of them. These horses won't have it easy much longer. Our first branding is next weekend. We'll head north for that. Rodeo season is just around the corner too. They better enjoy their freedom while they can because it is just about time to saddle up and hit the road.

Hope your weekend is filled with an easy, breezy rhythm. I'd like to go golf in an hour but I still think it might be too cold for me. (Sorry team! If it warms up tomorrow, I'll meet you on the green!)