Wisdom Wednesday: Listen to your head, follow your heart

There are a lot of things that I don't know. That is why I am here. Everyday is a puzzle, a new mystery to experience. I used to want to run ahead and see what was coming down the road but I don't anymore. I am content to be right where I am at. I haven't always felt this way, maybe it comes with age, experience or a few rough knocks.

May is a busy month for us. Nearly every month is becoming that way and will keep it up if I don't put my foot down. I am doing something this summer that I have never done before.............staying home. I am putting the anchors down and proclaiming a slower pace. I have to admit I am a bit reluctant to do this. My gypsy bones have a hard time staying in one place. I am a wanderer, an adventure seeker, an eternal explorer. I dream of loading up my backpack, camera, dog and gear and heading out into the world. I love my family more than anything. I adore my friends beyond belief. I appreciate the home we've created here. Someday though, I won't be able to control this urge, I will have to follow this yearning and see where it takes me. Right now though, dharma keeps me right here. I know my place, for the time being, is to stay on this place.

Usually I am preparing to hit the road with Chad and the kids, going to rodeos, meeting up with good friends and enjoying the fun summer vibrations. I'm road weary though. I've done this for 16 years. Its time for change! In the next couple of years, my boys will likely be going to more rodeos. More than likely I will be there, camera in hand, watching and cheering them on. I've decided to consciously slow things down a bit. I want to enjoy as much time at home as I can, working in the garden, watching my chickens and...........milking goats. I know, to some of you readers, this may sound absolutely ridiculous. Believe me, I've caught a lot of crap about this! And the only thing I can say is I have to follow my heart. There is something in me that wants this experince and is ready for it. I realize the committment, I realize that I will not be traveling, I realize that this will anchor me down. BIG TIME and I'm okay with that.

Maybe some of you are right, maybe I won't be able to handle being in one place ALL summer. Maybe this experience won't last very long. Maybe it isn't the right time or milking goats isn't suited to my personality...........but what if it IS? What if I love it? What if you run out of cheese or milk and you need to borrow some of mine?

I'm not out to prove anything. I am simply here for the experience, good, bad or otherwise. In the past, I would only agreed to an experince if I knew ahead of time that it was going to turn positively. I now see ALL experiences being positive, even ones that may be perceived as being uncomfortable or otherwise. It is easy to limit the totality of our experiences by choosing only the "safe" route. Sometimes the strange, daring and "wrong" choices end up being liberating. This is where it pays to listen to our heart rather than our head, though we often don't know it until a later time. Trust is essential, trust in yourself is a MUST. If you don't know what your motives are or why you are doing what you are doing, best not to try. But if you do, if you have the courage to do that which is crazy, wild, new, daring, different, quirky, unconventional, you will likely find a new vigor, a new awarness that floods your cells. If what you've been doing hasn't paid off, why not try something else? What's the worst that can happen?! YES, go THERE! You may find, like I did that things are often not as bas as what our minds want us to believe. Investigate, gather the details, tune into your heart and then..............take the LEAP!

How many times do we stop ourselves before we've even tried something different, to know if we like it? How many times do we let fear and anxiety guide our decisions? I see so many people feeling trapped and "stuck". Life doesn't have to be that way. Things are not as black and white as they seem. And so what if we decide to do something and it doesn't work? Are we out? Heck no! We learn just as much from experinces that don't fly as the ones that do! Let the experince, not the perception of the outcome be enough. Worrying about all the variables only distracts our attention and foucs.

Live. Be. Enjoy. You don't have to have a reason. If you want to learn something new, sign up for the class. If you fail miserably, throw a party and join the club. (I may have a violin for sale if I don't get these fingers to flex more!) Our greatness is seldom measured in the amount of times we've succeeded or failed, it is through each experince and the learning that we acquire that makes us truly amazing.

I have some doubts about where I'm headed with my little farm. I'm taking big gulps of air when it comes to the direction of my career and where I could be going with my work. Its really too early to tell. I'm not there yet. I might not be there for a while, or............ something amazing could happend tomorrow and I could be on a plane headed to Hawaii. And you now what..........none of it really matters in THIS moment. I am right where I need to be. I do listen to my head continually and I follow my heart instead. I listened to and followed logic for 35 years. It served me well and kept me safe, I have no regrets. In the last two years though, things have changed. I'm ready to see what is beyond logic and linear! I appreciate having a comfort zone but it no longer confines me.

For now, I'm content to experience the regularity of having a dairy goat here. I've always wanted to try it. If for some reason, out of the blue, my career intentions suddenly take off and I'm invited to go adventure in exotic places, I'm just sure I'll be able to take my family friends, goats, and dogs along! The more the merrier. Oh! Won't they have fun riding in my gypsy wagon???!!!

Wisdom Wednesday: We are not islands!

Right now seems like a very busy time. The fire energies are going out and the very powerful eight earth energies are starting to fill in the open spaces. In the Nine Star Ki philosophy, eight earth is here for the month and for the year. What this means is that we have the potential for powerful, dynamic changes. These changes are ones that are offered to help raise our awarness on all levels, both individually and collectively. Personally we are offered opportunites to shift out of, release and heal old patterns. Transformation is here, both inner and outer support is available if we are ready to receive it. We cannot do it alone. We weren't meant to.

I sometimes have the false mindset that if something needs done, it is going to be up to me to get it taken care of. In the past I felt sorry for myself and made situations even more miserable by focusing on the appearance of isolation. I would think that "it was all up to me" and then I would start feeling resentful. Old patterns.

Now I realize that it seldom had anything to do with those on the outside. The answer was within, waiting for me to consciously open up and ALLOW others to support me. It was never about others seeing me in pain and swooping down to rescue me, though that is what I had in mind for years. Recognizing and honoring my feelings was the first step. The second was inviting and asking for assistance. This was the hardest because when we ask for help, we have to ackwledge that we aren't SUPERGIRL or SUPERBOY! The old mindset and ego usually take leave.

What the mind doesn't know is that there are usually lots of people ready to assist. They want to contribute. When we open and allow, we invite others to share their time, talents and traits with us. Giving and receivng is a two way street on the same highway. 

My husband is not a fan of chickens or goats. However, he has been extremely supportive. The majority of the work is mine and I am enjoying it. If it gets to be something else, it will go! For now there is great learning and wonderful expeirnces so its here. The chicks have grown so fast that they need a new space. We don't have the other permanent building ready yet. I knew that moving the chickens to a larger tank was necessary, yet I lacked the muscles and ability of "how to build a new shelter".  I shared this with Chad and invited his ideas. No pressure or hurry. I continued to clean out the small pen several times a day and just did those micromovements we talked about in class the other night.

Several ideas surfaced. Good ones and yet time seemed to be the barrier. I have more than a full schedule this week so I really wasn't sure how things would come into alignment. I just kept on movning, doing what needed to be done. Last night I came home to a magnificient set up. A large tank, a large screen with chicken wire and tarps and a heat lamp! (The man is brilliant!) I was golfing. He was working on my our project!

I had invited him to assist, acknowledging that I was going to need some help. I didn't force, push, control or direct. I also didn't worry. I also didn't feel guilty (which is huge, especially since I was having fun and he was at home working!). I did FULLY acknowledge and appreciate this beautiful act of support and kindness. As I sat with this today, I realized that he's always been supportive and willing to assist. That hasn't changed. What changes is that I am now allowing him to share with me. This may sound strange, as I've lived with the man for years but much of that time I was operating on an old mindset. It was not supportive but it was the only one there for a long time.

I feel that much of our society is like this. We are more than willing to help if we just knew where to best direct our efforts. Its important to ask, it is important to share and to communicate what our needs are. In the past, I misinterpreted the message that being strong and independent meant I had to do it (ALL) myself. That's not true (AT ALL). We may appear as individual islands floating along in the sea of life though that isn't quite the truth. We are all IN the same sea, we are all IN this life together; the more we connect, communicate and share the more land we link and the more ground we cover. Its time to do that now.

We are all diverse and unique and we are all connected through our needs, strengths and weakness. If you need help today, ask for it! You may be giving someone a fabulous opportunity to share their time, talents, love, and attention with you. If someone asks you for help, share freely. We are all in this together, we might as well have fun and enjoy the human connection. We aren't islands, we are notes dancing along to Love's amazing, universal tune.

Follow Your Dreams..........Fearlessly!

Follow Your Dreams…………Fearlessly!

Better late than never right? I am following Ghandi’s wise counsel of “I have given up the need to be consistent” and am posting Wisdom Wednesday this afternoon. I would love to have posted earlier but it just wasn’t in the cards. Life is here and I am joyously following, enjoying and chewing every bite slowly. There’s more than a plateful too!

Today was my “town day”. I take one day per week and do as much as I can in the allotted time. This includes running errands, grocery shopping, hair appointments, library returns, dry cleaning, knitting store (FUN), and various supply gathering ventures!


There were so many Dynamic Details today that I’ll start with them and then conclude with Wisdom Wednesday’s post! Forgive the appearance of scattered thoughts, welcome to my day!

My sweet girlfriend, Barb, takes such good care of me. Once a month she beautifies my locks, gives me hugs and huge doses of LOVE and helps me reconnect to my inner and OUTER beauty. That girl is GREAT for my soul. I leave her salon feeling like a million bucks and am ready to go straight to the court house to take my driver’s license picture because I love how she fixes my hair! If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I am not real fond of having my picture taken; on these days, when I’m with her, I feel a lot better about doing so.

As a special birthday treat, Pryce got a make-over too. Barb trimmed her hair and pierced her ears. She was such a big girl. No cries, no whimpers. She asked me to put my hand over her mouth though! My baby looks so grown up!

Another treat came today and that is a Dynamic Detail AND a detail related to Wisdom Wednesday, which is if following our dreams, fearlessly. I am find each time I present the Dynamic U, I am invited to look into the old blocks, out-dated beliefs and limiting thoughts that tend to stifle my cre8tive energies. When I commit to following my intentions through a four week time frame, it is easier to see where and how I have “let myself off the hook” and perhaps not been as focused on what it is that I really want to do. I let myself get distracted by other things, responsibilities and daily life.

In truth, what I most recognize is that anytime I set out to accomplish something, I usually also am given the opportunity to meet fear head-on. This can be uncomfortable at times, because the mind usually wants to drown in the details of how I’ve failed in the past, how I am unworthy and unable to follow through. Self-pity, crashing self-esteem, doubt and judgment follow. However, I am learning, through my inner work that this is NORMAL and simply a part of being human and having emotions. These are surface reactions and often they are just pooling there, like snot, ready to be blow away. Pardon the analogy, it’s the best that I could come up with in this moment.

In the pursuit of  following our dreams, fear is a natural part of the path. It doesn’t mean that it is going to stick with you forever, it just may be there for now, until it is recognized and released. Today, I had the thought of following up on a dream of mine. I’ve had it for a long time and it won’t be a surprise to many of you since it is what I am talking about more and more. In addition to talking, and now that I am again immersed in presenting this class, I am taking the same challenge offered to the participants, do the opposite and FACE YOUR FEARS!

I have always loved writing and I have so many ideas. In my head they are all fabulous, though I have yet to send anything off for publication. I did this in the past and was rejected. I am now ready to work through and release those old reactions, limiting beliefs and FEARS! Here’s my dream………..I want to write for a living, I am ready to share the thoughts, ideas, messages, inspiration and cre8tive angles that come through my being in a more pronounced and broader way! I want to have my articles, pictures and books published. I would love to have thousands and thousands of readers! Phew, there I said it and now I am shaking!!!! (there’s something very powerful just in identifying the dream!) I have an idea for a Cre8tive Cowgirl book series too, the dream just goes on an on!

This afternoon, I took steps toward this idea in a more visible way. I am sharing with you, my readers and I also approached a fabulous lady who I think has an amazing story and philosophy to share. I am seeing a series of articles and inspirations, insight, teaching, guidance and beneficial examples of following one’s passion, doing what we love, connecting with others and keeping creativity alive! After an hour long discussion, I have not one article but a series that I think will be a blast to write and a joy to read. (Oh! I hope I am right!) I left her place deeply grateful for being willing to take this step, make this commitment and truly facing my fear, which is now turned into exhilaration and joy. Fear can easily be transformed!

There is more than I can write about on the subject of fear……….if anyone is interested. We could actually go really DEEEEEEP. If any of you reading these posts are interested in a particular subject, please let me know, email, comment or message me. I’ll be happy to do a post on what pleases you! I will also share in more depth about the article series that is coming through. I don’t know if what comes through will be of interest to others. I have a feeling it could be and the joy that comes through when I write and share from the heart makes me feel it is possible! Lord knows I need editors, proofreaders and many sets of eyes to catch mistakes that I don’t see. Oh and one other thing that I would really love…………READERS! LOTS OF ‘EM! Are you willing to help me share my dream? Do you think I have what it takes to publish articles and share with thousands of people? I am open to all opinions and thoughts, even those that may not be what I want to hear. I welcome ALL truth and I am wide open to it. I can’t do this alone. None of us can. We all need one another to help us carry and birth our dream, help it grow and share it with the world! Share yours with me! I will do what I can to help support you too.

Have a DYNAMIC evening! (and please forgive any mistakes you might see. I am typing this as fast as I can because I have a busy, full night ahead of me and I am giving myself permission to skip the editing part! What freedom when we release limits and rules!