In both classes and private sessions and in my personal quest, I'm a big promoter of self-care. And sometimes this self care routine involves making choices tha are contrary to the images we hold of ourselves, as well as enjoying activities that are different from what the kids enjoy. Young mom's (and dad's too) quickly learn that their personal needs, and even much loved activities take a back seat to the bouncing, (bawling, in our case) bundle of joy. Babies require an incredible amount of energy and focus (all definitely worth it!). In the process, we can easily loose track of ourselves, what we most love, enjoy and those little daily events that remind us of our passion and life force. We can rejoin in those activites but sometimes it takes years to get back to them.
As my children grow, I've slowly gotten back to some of the activities I enjoy. I've also made time to explore new aspects that I didn't know I'd love. Though my children require less of my hawk like focus, I still feel the need to "swoop" in and offer support and council (or referee the continual fights). And just because I want to go someplace and do something fun like hike, golf, kayak, or even paint, it doesn't mean I follow through and "jump in". I feel I can only do these things if and when my children are 1. safe/in the presence of another adult I trust and 2. are entertained! If these requirements are met then I'm good with doing something for me, be it an art class, weekend with the girls or just sitting quietly in my sacred space.
This summer has led to a giant mom step for me. Ok, maybe not giant, but significant. I've followed the "rodeo trail" with Chad for 18 some years. While I enjoyed watching and supporting him, I've come to discover this isn't my favorite scene. I really don't see him unless its going to and from the location. I've sat through many a hot, miserable, seemingly never ending rodeo and I just DON"T LOVE IT. This isn't a bad thing, it's just not MY thing. This past weekend. I went in another a direction, a decision that I didn't take lightly but one that was right for me. Instead of hitting the rodeo trail with the guys, I headed to the lake with my girl and my camper. You know what? It was FABULOUS! Not that I didn't think about the boys and how they were doing and not that I didn't feel a tinge of guilt when I didn't see Parker's winning steer ride, but in that space I was able to feel all of us grow. This was personally liberating because I was in a location I really wanted to be in (I LOVE water) and they were too, even though it was not in the same location. Every mom wants the best for her children. I also believe every mom has an opportunity to be a shining example of how to align with personal truth and navigate accordingly. Giving ourselves permission to "be happy" allows our children to see the process of responsibility and responsible, loving self-care unfold. In the past, I've been one to load up on heavy doses of guilt and make myself do things because I thought I had to. As I let that thread unravel, I am remembering there are other choices, equally satisfying and just as enjoyable.
Will I endure another rodeo this summer? Yes, there's a strong bet that I will but only if I REALLY want to be there! Otherwise I think we all agree, if Mama's happy, we're all happy! Maybe I do have more "pull" around here than what I think I do?!?!
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